17. Hioh Tàu | 歇晝

17. Hioh Tàu

Thiⁿ-khong koh chhiò-kah chiâⁿ chhàn-lān, khong-khì iô-tāng, lâu-kòe ta̍k-hāng mi̍h-kiāⁿ. Chit ê oán-hong ê chheⁿ-hūn chng-kha koh sī góa ê ah, thaⁿ-hiong í-keng piàn kò͘-hiong. Ô͘ piⁿ chi̍t châng chhiū-á ê só͘-chāi kin-á-ji̍t sī góa ê; góa ōe chi̍t tiuⁿ sok-siá, ū chhù, gû, kap hûn. Góa siá chi̍t tiuⁿ phoe, m̄-koh góa bē kā kià--chhut-khì. Taⁿ góa phah-khui góa ê piān-tong: ū pháng, ian-chhiâng, hu̍t-thô (核桃), kap chokolate.

Hù-kīn ū chi̍t châng hôa-bo̍k (樺木, birch), hia thô͘-kha ū chi̍t-kóa ta-oe. Góa siūⁿ boeh hiâⁿ chi̍t ê-á hóe, chē tī piⁿ-á thang chò-phōaⁿ. Góa kiâⁿ--kòe, khioh chi̍t hiaⁿh ê chhâ, ē-bīn khǹg chóa, kā tiám to̍h. Ian khin-khin seng-khí, hoaⁿ-hoaⁿ hí-hí, bêng-liāng ê hóe tī tiong-tàu ê ji̍t-kng ni̍h kî-miāu thiàu-tāng.

Ian-chhiâng hó-chia̍h, bîn-á-chài góa boeh koh bé kāng-khoán ê. Thiⁿ ah, góa nā ū kúi-lia̍p-á la̍t-chí (栗子) thang pû tō hó lah!

Chia̍h-tàu liáu, góa kā gōa-thò pho͘ tī chháu téng, thâu khòe téng-koân, khòaⁿ góa hiâⁿ ê chhâ-ian phiau chiūⁿ chheng-thian. Chia ū ka-tī ê im-ga̍k kap khèng-hōe. Góa siūⁿ khí góa ē-kì-tit ê Eichendorff ê koa. Siūⁿ bô kúi tiâu, ū ê góa mā bē-kì-tit koa-sû. Góa chiàu Hugo Wolf kap Othmar Schoeck ê soân-lu̍t pòaⁿ-liām pòaⁿ-chhiùⁿ. "Siūⁿ boeh liû-lōng thaⁿ-hiong ê lâng" kap "O chhin-ài-ê, tiong-si̍t ê gî-pê" chit nn̄g tiâu siōng khó-ài. Chiah-ê koa chhiong-móa pi-siong, m̄-koh pi-siong chí-sī chi̍t lúi joa̍h-thiⁿ ê hûn, i ê āu-piah sī sìn-sim kap ji̍t-thâu. Che sī Eichendorff siá ê. Tī chit lūi ê koa, i pí Mörike hām Lenau khah gâu.

Goán lāu-bú nā-chún taⁿ iáu oa̍h tio̍h, góa ē su-liām i, siūⁿ-boeh kā kóng ta̍k-hāng tāi-chì, thán-pe̍h kā kóng i boeh chai ê ta̍k-hāng góa ê tāi-chì.

M̄-koh lâi ê sī chi̍t ê o͘ thâu-chang ê cha-bó͘ gín-á, tāi-khài cha̍p hòe, kiâⁿ--kòe-lâi, koan-chhat góa kap góa ê hóe-tui, chiap-siū góa hō͘ i ê chi̍t lia̍p hu̍t-thô kap chokolate, chē tī góa piⁿ-á ê chháu téng, taⁿ khai-sí kǎ kóng i ê iûⁿ-á kap in hiaⁿ-ko, ōe-tiong ū gín-á ê chun-giâm kap chèng-keng. Lán khah ū hòe ê lâng tian-tò ná chhiūⁿ thiúⁿ-á! Taⁿ i ài tńg--khì, i the̍h tiong-tàu-pn̄g lâi hō͘ in lāu-pē. I chin hó-lé koh chèng-keng kǎ kóng chài-hōe, chhēng iûⁿ-mo͘ boe̍h-á ê kha ta̍h tio̍h chhâ-kia̍h kiâⁿ-khui. I hō-chò Annunziata.

Hóe-tui sio liáu ah. Ji̍t-thâu mā sió-khóa siâ sai. Kin-á-ji̍t góa iáu boeh kiâⁿ chin hn̄g ê lō͘. Tng-teh phah-pau góa ê phāiⁿ-pau ê sî, góa koh siūⁿ tio̍h lēng-gōa chi̍t-sut-á Eichendorff, góa kūi-leh chhiùⁿ chhut:

Chin kín, chiâⁿ kín an-lêng ê sî-chūn tō lâi,

Hit sî, góa mā boeh hioh-khùn, tī góa téng-koân

Chiong ū chhiū-á ê khó-ài ko͘-to̍k ê sa-sa siaⁿ,

Án-ne, sīm-chì tī chia, bô lâng ē bat góa.

Góa tē-it kái lí-kái, sīm-chì tī chit tōaⁿ khó-ài ê koa-sû ni̍h, siong-sim chí sī chi̍t phìⁿ hûn ê iáⁿ. Chit chiong siong-sim chí sī kòe-khì tāi-chì ê un-jiû im-ga̍k, nā bô che, súi ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ tō bē kám-tōng lán. Che bô thòng-khó͘. Góa chah i lí-hêng, góa kám-kak boan-chiok, koh khin-khoài ta̍h-pō͘ peh-chiūⁿ soaⁿ-lō͘, ô͘ tī ē-bīn lī góa hn̄g-hn̄g, keng-kòe bôa-pâng ê sió-khe, piⁿ-á ū la̍t-chí chhiū, kap chi̍t ê teh khùn ê hong-chhia, góa kiâⁿ-ji̍p an-chēng ê nâ-sek thiⁿ-khong.

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17. 歇晝

天空 koh 笑甲誠燦爛, 空氣搖動, 流過逐項物件. 這个遠方 ê 生份庄跤 koh 是我 ê ah, 他鄉已經變故鄉. 湖邊一叢樹仔 ê 所在今仔日是我 ê; 我畫一張速寫, 有厝, 牛, kap 雲. 我寫一張批, m̄-koh 我袂 kā 寄出去. 今我拍開我 ê 便當: 有 pháng, 煙腸, hu̍t-thô (核桃), kap chokolate.

附近有一叢 hôa-bo̍k (樺木, birch), 遐塗跤有一寡焦椏. 我想欲燃一个仔火, 坐 tī 邊仔通做伴. 我行過, 抾一 hiahⁿ ê 柴, 下面囥紙, kā 點 to̍h. 煙輕輕升起, 歡歡喜喜, 明亮 ê 火 tī 中晝 ê 日光 ni̍h 奇妙跳動.

煙腸好食, 明仔載我欲 koh 買仝款 ê. 天 ah, 我若有幾粒仔 la̍t-chí (栗子) 通炰 tō 好 lah!

食晝了, 我 kā 外套鋪 tī 草頂, 頭 khòe 頂懸, 看我燃 ê 柴煙飄上青天. 遮有家己 ê 音樂 kap 慶會. 我想起我會記得 ê Eichendorff ê 歌. 想無幾條, 有 ê 我 mā 袂記得歌詞. 我照 Hugo Wolf kap Othmar Schoeck ê 旋律半念半唱. "想欲流浪他鄉 ê 人" kap "O 親愛 ê, 忠實 ê 琵琶" 這兩條上可愛. Chiah-ê 歌充滿悲傷, m̄-koh 悲傷只是一蕊熱天 ê 雲, 伊 ê 後壁是信心 kap 日頭. 這是 Eichendorff 寫 ê. Tī 這類 ê 歌, 伊比 Mörike 和 Lenau 較 gâu.

阮老母若準今猶活著, 我會思念伊, 想欲 kā 講逐項代誌, 坦白 kā 講伊欲知 ê 逐項我 ê 代誌.

M̄-koh 來 ê 是一个烏頭鬃 ê 查某囡仔, 大概十歲, 行過來, 觀察我 kap 我 ê 火堆, 接受我予伊 ê 一粒核桃 kap chokolate, 坐 tī 我邊仔 ê 草頂, 今開始 kǎ 講伊 ê 羊仔 kap in 兄哥, 話中有囡仔 ê 尊嚴 kap 正經. 咱較有歲 ê 人顛倒 ná 像丑仔! 今伊愛轉去, 伊提中晝飯來予 in 老爸. 伊真好禮 koh 正經 kǎ 講再會, 穿羊毛襪仔 ê 跤踏著柴屐行開. 伊號做 Annunziata.

火堆燒了 ah. 日頭 mā 小可斜西. 今仔日我猶欲行真遠 ê 路. 當 teh 拍包我 ê 揹包 ê 時, 我 koh 想著另外一屑仔 Eichendorff, 我跪 leh 唱出:

真緊, 誠緊安寧 ê 時陣 tō 來,

彼時, 我 mā 欲歇睏, tī 我頂懸

將有樹仔 ê 可愛孤獨 ê sa-sa 聲,

Án-ne, 甚至 tī 遮, 無人會捌我.

我第一改理解, 甚至 tī 這段可愛 ê 歌詞 ni̍h, 傷心只是一片雲 ê 影. 這種傷心只是過去代誌 ê 溫柔音樂, 若無這, 媠 ê 物件 tō 袂感動咱. 這無痛苦. 我扎伊旅行, 我感覺滿足, koh 輕快踏步 peh 上山路, 湖 tī 下面離我遠遠, 經過磨房 ê 小溪, 邊仔有栗子樹, kap 一个 teh 睏 ê 風車, 我行入安靜 ê 藍色天空.

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17. Noon Rest

Again the sky laughs brightly, the air dances and flows over everything. The far-off strange country belongs to me again, the alien has become home. A place by a tree above the lake is mine today; I have made a sketch of a cottage with cows and clouds. I have written a letter, which I will not send. Now I unpack my lunch bag: bread, sausage, nuts, chocolate.

Nearby there is a birch wood where I saw the ground covered with dead branches. I feel like building a small fire to take it as a companion and sit beside it. I walk over, gather a good armload of wood, lay paper underneath, and light it. The thin smoke rises up easily and happily, the bright red flame flickers strangely in the midday sunlight.

The sausage is good, tomorrow I'll buy another of the same kind. God, I wish I had a few chestnuts to roast!

After lunchtime I spread my coat on the grass, rest my head on it, and watch as my little smoke offering rises up into the bright heavens. Some music and celebration belong here. I think about songs by Eichendorff that I know by heart. Not many of them occur to me, and even then I can't recall some of the verses. I say the songs over, half singing to the melodies of Hugo Wolf and Othmar Schoeck. "Whoever longs to wander in strange lands" and "O beloved, faithful lute" are the loveliest. The songs are full of sadness, but the sadness is only a summer cloud, behind it stand trust and the sun. That is Eichendorff. In songs like these he stands above Mörike and Lenau.

If my mother were still alive now, I would think about her and try to tell her everything, to confess what she ought to know about me.

Instead, a little girl with black hair, about ten years old, comes walking past, surveys me and my small fire, accepts a nut and a piece of chocolate from me, sits beside me in the grass, and now starts telling me about her goat and about her big brother, speaking with the dignity and gravity that children have. What clowns we older persons are! Then she has to go home, she has brought lunch out to her father. She makes her farewell couteously and seriously and walks away in her wooden sandals and woolen stockings. She called Annunziata.

The fire has gone out. The sun has gone down ever so slightly. I still want to walk a good distance today. As I begin packing and wrapping up my bundle, I think of another bit of Eichendorff, and I sing it on my knees:

Soon, oh how soon the still time will come,

When I too will rest, and over me

Will rustle the lovely loneliness of trees,

And, even here, no one will know me.

I perceive for the first time that even in this beloved passage the sadness is merely the shadow of a cloud. This sadness is nothing but the gentle music of passing things, and without it, whatever is beautiful does not touch us. It is without pain. I take it with me on my journey, and I feel contented as I step briskly farther up the mountain path, the lake far below me, past a mill brook with chestnut trees and a sleeping mill wheel, into the quiet blue day.

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